My little fish. My big freakout

Swimming, the sport that could save your life. A must for your child to learn. In my head this is me; no more gymnastics….swimming time.

“Mummy I would like to learn to swim”

Great! She’s on board.

So I book the lessons. Show her the booklet that’s been sent, get her the goggles, make sure we’re packed and off we go. Arrive at the sports centre and start to get ready, she’s super excited, my heart is starting to race. Meet the teacher who says “say bye to mum.” Apparently I’m not even allowed to sit at the side of the pool, I have to go behind the glass to the viewing area. Oh my god.

So I run, desperate to get there to watch ever second, scared to miss anything, scared if I’m not watching her something bad will happen. Get myself so worked up, when I see her, I burst into tears. Quiet tears, whilst watching her and having almost a panic attack. The other parents must have been rolling their eyes “who’s this weirdo?” I wonder if they were like this the first week, or were they cool, calm and collected like I would like to be.

So they get into the water, my eyes are streaming as she’s waving at me smiling, but she’s pulled her goggles up the wrong way so her wee ears are sticking out and pulling her eyes down. Oh my god, what a bad mother I am, why did I not put her goggles on properly. Poor wee monster, I’m such a bad mother. Thoughts are bad……..

She’s fantastic, like a wee fish. Thank god they’ve moved the floor up so that they don’t drown, my genuine - couldn’t stop thinking about it - fear. What a scary thing it is to be a parent. You no longer worry about yourself or your husband, there keeps being more people added on that you have to worry about. But worrying can be good and bad, you have to let them do, whilst watching intently ready to leap up at anything!

Got her out of the pool, “why do we have to get out.” Why indeed! Enjoying yourself wee one, is the best, most important thing in life. (even if behind your enjoyment is a freaking out parent)

From the terrified, weird, crying, palpitating mum at the swimming pool. I am normal, honestly.