I wouldn’t say we’ve dealt perfectly with anything so far. Everything is unknown. I remember when we moved her into her own bed and we used to lock her in her room so that she would go to sleep. After stories, lying with her, explaining she had to stay in bed, it became the only option after having her up causing havoc at 11pm! Once she’d realised she could get out of bed and straight through to us, that was it. A lot of people may read this post with utter shock! It’s most definitely a conflicting issue, how do you deal with your child. Well in my mind, it’s whatever works. As long as you try your best to teach them right from wrong, feed them and wash them, everything else is in the wayside. And I feel I should add, we locked her in her room, with continual checks and tuck ins, until she got bored and went to sleep, which of course she did. It worked.
I remembered this time yesterday. It had been a hard day, everything I said to do, she did the opposite, everything I asked she lied. How do you deal with that? It was until she said I want to go outside, fine! My one request was that she didn’t let the chickens out. Ignored! I saw red. That was the final straw. “IN” I shouted. Again, 2 years later I lock her in her room, for a completely different reason. I was beat, the baby was crying, so I made myself a cup of tea and fed her while I chilled myself out. No one teaches you what to do, where’s the handbook!
This stuck out, because this is the first time I’ve ever had to punish her. In her full four years, it’s the first time. Usually you ask something and she’ll eventually do, or help. Usually you can count to 3 and never make it to 3. Usually she knows not to go too far. Today was a stand. A stand against me, her grandparents and after work – her dad.
I was swaying, what should I do. I saw no other options. Half an hour in her room by herself. I was seething, but also wondering what’s the right thing to do for this child. How do I make her understand that when we’re telling her things, it’s because we do actually know better and we’re trying to teach her what the right things to do are.
So I let her out, obviously she’s had the time of her life, dressing as Cinderella, not really understanding (or caring) why she’s in her room. She asks me “what’s a punishment?” Oh god, what is a punishment, she’s obviously enjoyed her time in her room, how can I call it a punishment. So my explanation was that because she was so naughty I didn’t want to see or speak to her. The next time she tells fibs and ignores what we’re asking her to do, then the punishment will get bigger, like we’ll take her baby rabbit away – it’s her favourite toy.
Ok understood. “Where will you take my rabbit to?” Still full of anger – “the bin”
I leave her to continue having fun, and go downstairs realising I’m meant to be the parent! I’m meant to be the parent here! I shout up, “remember, if you’re naughty, baby rabbit will go on holiday, for a long time.”
Less harsh, I feel better. I hope this is the right way forward in this unknown land.